Monday, December 8, 2008

Kev's Korner - December 8th

With not much time to spare, Kev's Korner has been out of service for a couple of weeks, so I have lot's to talk about... B&I, BBT, PBA, Women's Challenge, Lou and other random stuff. Let's begin.

This Wednesday is the half-way point of the first third (position round). It isn't quite as exciting as the first trimester, but there is still time for things to fall in place.

Congratulations to Todd Cohen for shooting 300, right-handed. That is his 5th sanctioned 300...oh by the way, some of those have been left-handed. Another congratulations to Craig Slater for shooting 299 this past week. It was a very quiet front 11 as most of the low-end of the house didn't know about it until it was over. The amazing part of the 299 is that Craig is 60 years old!! He has a lot of creeky joints, but he can still get it done. He's also lefty though, so he can probably go until he's 100 years old.

Congrats to Mike R. for winning the year's first major, the Thanksgiving Major. He really stepped it up when he needed it. We also welcome Sarah to the BBT, who really gave Mike a run for his money.

Congratulations to Lou for making the cut this past week. From shot #1 he was all smiles, having a good time. When Lou is acting that way, it makes the entire BBT environment fun. Welcome back Lou. Oh yeah, sorry for spanking your monkey in the quarterfinals. You bowled really well, I just have you number.

Congratulations to Jack for kicking everyone's @$$. He bowled well each and every game. His handicap is high because he's been struggling, but it really didn't matter too much this past week. He was standing them up and slapping them over, one-by-one. He was beating most everyone scratch. Now he just needs to bowl enough weeks for the Tournament of Champions.

We have a 2-week Winter Major scheduled for January 14th and 21st. Some members have brought up the idea of holding it some time during the winter break. We have no league bowling on Dec. 24th and Dec. 31st, so we will not be holding any BBT events those weeks. However, we can hold a BBT event or even a major, some time during those two off weeks. Anyone have any thoughts? Ideas? Also please comment on whether you'll be out of town during those two weeks, making it impossible for you to bowl. It won't be on X-mas or New Year's Eves, but maybe some other day.

When you run a side bracket, during league, for a select few friends, and a regular doesn't want to participate because he's got poop in his pants, so another regular puts him in so that the bracket can still run...should that original poopy pants person be allowed to buy in some where in the 3rd frame of the night, when his opponent is sucking butt?

I love watching Parker Bohn bowl, and win. I also love to watch Patrick Allen struggle and lose. There are only 3 left-handed pros that exist in my bowling almanac...PB3, Mr. Anthony and Mike Aulby. All three were/are extremely fun to watch...often times even more than the righties, that I have a bias for. Jason Couch and Mr. Petraglia are mentioned on the inside book cover.

As Parker Bohn keeps winning, how much more can he move up on the "50 Greatest" list? He is running into some tough competition as high up as he is.

Patrick Allen is a turd. I have been to a couple Pro-ams and have also seen him in the qualifying round at a US Open...where a lot of non-touring pros try their luck. He is not a nice person. He comes across as it being very degrading to have to bowl with lesser people. It was fun to see "P.A." struggle on the left side when there were too many bowlers over there with him. "Scroggie" just kept throwing the ball faster and taking his hand out of it as the night when on and Allen just kept struggling and acting dumb-founded when he went high. "Serious? They broke down that fast?" Awwwwwww...poor Patrick Allen. Go cry to someone who cares. For him to be put in the PBA's 50 Greatest of All-time almost made me puke. Don't get me wrong... he is a good bowler, probably a very good bowler. He would probably spank me more times than not. But at the same time I don't think he's a 50 greatest, and in fact I think he barely makes the "Top 10 Greatest of current all-time" bowlers. Here's a list of all the active bowlers I could think of that I think are better than Patrick Allen....on an "all-time" level...
In alphabetical order:
Chris Barnes
Tom Baker
Parker Bohn III
Jason Couch
Norm Duke
Tommy Jones
Doug Kent
Pete Weber
Walter Ray Williams Jr.

That is 9 bowlers. Here are 3 more bowlers that "P.A." is higher than, but not by much. Mika Koivuniemi, Ryan Shafer and Danny Wiseman. If he is just barely in the active top 10, how in the world did he make the top 50 of all-time? Just my opinion.

Wow, this is anything but exciting. It has been this way all season. The PBA smartened up and put them up first on the telecast. When they put them last on the telecast they were guaranteeing that people would change to a football game or stop their DVR once the men's final was over. How many spares can two women leave that contains the 2-pin?...meaning they came up light. 2, 2-4-5, 2-4-5-8...multiple of each. Wow, that was breath-taking. And then when they actually do hit the pocket it is an awesome sight to see no pins flying and leaving soft 10s. It's like watching Don Scott bowl...breath-taking. There is no better TV to watch on a Sunday afternoon than the Women's Bowling Series on ESPN.

Is is me or is the PBA telecast starting to suck this season? Rob Stone was a random breath of fresh-air when he first started...especially after the previous clown had no idea what was going on. When Rob Stone came in he brought his own unique touch. He didn't always know what was going on, so he rarely stepped his bounds and learned as things went along. This year he is stumbling over himself all the time and his notes are always wrong. I can't count how many facts he gave this week that were initially wrong and were later corrected by himself or Randy. It isn't just the commentators that suck, it's the graphics. Did anyone notice the random question mark after Walter Ray Williams Jr.'s name when they put up the player of the year points list? Graphics department not have quality check? They had all week to look that graphic over.

NUMBER OF THE WEEK: 194.50...the average on TV for the Women's Series. The men, during those same tournaments, also on TV, is 215.77. The women's high game during that time is 225...not much better than the men's average (win or lose).


  1. That wasn't a korner, that was a whole BLOCK!

  2. Very nice Kevin, some good dialogue. Interesting facts and figures. Who's the poopy pants? I sucked butt, but can't remember who my opponent was! Parker Bohn III throws a beautiful ball. Have always enjoyed watching him bowl. We watched it after bowling on sunday morning at Deerfield. DON SCOTT...LOL!

  3. Yeah, it turned into Kev's Block because I hadn't been able to write anything up for a while, so I had a lot to talk about...since I'm never short on words.

    Mr. poopy pants was the Editor in Chief.

    I love Don Scott. He's a great guy. He is just anything but exciting to watch bowl, so I thought it was a great comparison.

  4. Kevin, great, great column. You are an excellent missed you calling...but a couple of facts, you little douche.

    1. I gave you the money $5.00 for the side bracket after realizing that I should have told you before hand that I was injured. I didn't want to stick anybody and had no idea who I was bowling against. One thing about me, I have never taken advantage of anybody for my personal gain...That is why I was so successful in business. People KNEW I had their best interests in mind at all times.

    2. Patrick Allen is a jag off. Period. Was also thrilled to see him get pounded.

    3. Funny you mentioned about the PBA. I don't'look forward to the shows this year. Don't know why, maybe it gets old looking at a bunch of skankie lesbo bowlers and seeing the same guys week after week. The PBA made a massive error by making the tour exempt. My favorite viewing moments where when a new face had a chance to win the tournament.

    Who wants to see Mike Scroggins every week?

    Lastly, you are an anus.

  5. It's all good Mr. Poopy Pants. I let you in obviously. Wasn't like I was gonna deny you. I know you aren't trying to screw us. Just giving you crap for it.

  6. Too funny...hey Kev, can we get Lou's name changed to Mr. Poopy Pants if he bowls BBT this week? If he gets the sand out of his anus of course...


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