Monday, October 8, 2007

Oh No 3-OH...no, no I meant OH-3

Lou Pinella trying to bitch slap the Umpire after the Cubs lose three straight.

Well, it happened again. 99 Years of failure. Root for a team, give them your good money, buy their jerseys, wear their hats, give them your soul; they cooperate by spending $300 million and what happens... they still lose.

Why is that? How can a team lose year after year, after year? Even the White Sox won a World Series and so did the Marlins...

So what is the problem? Well after thinking about it for a minute or so, I have decided that the Cubs will never win as long as they play in Wrigley and during the day. The stadium is a jinxed dump and this day baseball thing...how can you play baseball at 1:20pm when you have been out chasing women all night long. Now I realize that when you are in your 20's, it is easier to recover but lets look at this timeline:

1. 10:00pm - Go to Club
2. 10:05pm - get a VIP room
3. 10:10pm - Pat the waitress on the butt and get bottle service
4. 10:11pm - A bunch of chicks get wind that a Major League Ballplayer is in the house, sneak into the VIP suite and the party is on...
5. 11:00pm - Smothered in women, buy another bottle, more women, more booze, maybe a toke or 2 and by 4:00am, when the bar is closing, time to move to your stabbin' cabin. Bring home at least 1 or 2 girls, more drinks, have more fun...girls leave at 9:00am, get into the shower, maybe shave, get to the Shrine by 10:00am, take batting practice with a massive hangover and lose the game by 4:00pm...do it all over again later that night. Lose the next game...

Doesn't take a genius to figure this one out...play more night games; they may not win more games but at least they can sleep in...

Well at least we can still say "wait until next year"

6 comments:

  1. Please note that Lou Vasselli played in the major leagues in a former life.

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  2. The biggest problem with Cub fans is stupidity. If you look at the poll and see how many idiots picked them to win the World Series, no more proof needed.Yes they barely made the playoffs but to actually think they would even advance one series is retarded. Think with your head, not the Cubby blue bleeding heart.Don't forget they were the 5th best team in the NL

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  3. Lou did see action in the majors. He was Steinbrenner's calzone bitch-boy. Couldn't resist, sorry Lou.

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  4. Hey, we used to work with Scott Leius who played for the Twins and the Royals.

    It is confirmed that the lifestyle is as written...

    Waz, what is a Calzone bitch boy?

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  5. Scott Leius was hardly a major leaguer. He was close to the Mendoza line his whole carrer. He did get a paycheck to play, so I'll give him props for that but that's about it.

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  6. Lou, you don't know the calzone reference? Shame on you!

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